is this real life?
is this real life?
do you guys remember bottle service dude? our breakup was absolutely epic and it is still one of my favorite stories. we saw each other again recently and i left about 10 minutes before amit, his roommate who i know from debate in high school [god, i was the coolest] arrived. he made a comment to my friend jimmy about wanting to see me so we [amit, jimmy, another friend and me] decided to meet for happy hour.
we split bottles of wine at vinyl and then headed to la sirena clandestina so i could satisfy my empanada craving. the gm wasn’t even working but he sent out shots of fernet which was just a terrible idea, especially because they came after a few prarie fire shots at each bar. if you don’t know what those are, consider yourself lucky.
i have a couple friends who work at the aviary so we decided to finish up our night with some fancy cocktails.
honestly, it was one of the best nights i have had in awhile and that’s really saying something. amit is the most inappropriately hilarious person i have ever met and i spent the whole night cracking up.
the very best part was getting to hear about the blog induced breakup from the other side. it turns out that the whole flowers thing was amit’s idea. apparently, the original idea was to break up with me through singing telegram but they worried that might be too mean. personally, i would have died laughing. and funny enough, i had actually been tempted to send HIM one to say eff you.
i never want to get on amit’s bad side because that boy is an evil genuis. his pranks are just mind blowing. my favorite? he found BSD’s spare key to his room [yes, he has to lock his door to prevent pranks] and when BSD was in the shower amit went in, stole all of his clothes leaving him with an entirely hot pink outfit that BSD was then forced to wear to work.
apparently, to this day, amit sends that post to people to read. and i guess some of those people continue to read my blog and have said nice things about it/my writing. baffling but a lovely thing to hear. it also makes me wonder if BSD reads it. hmm…
i was sad i wasn’t going to get to see amit again before i left but i think jimmy is giving me a free ticket to lolla on friday so we are all going to hang out, this time with BSD in tow. shouldn’t be awkward at all!
I read several dozen stories a year from miserable, lonely guys who insist that women won’t come near them despite the fact that they are just the nicest guys in the world.
..I’m asking what do you offer? Are you smart? Funny? Interesting? Talented? Ambitious? Creative? OK, now what do you do to demonstrate those attributes to the world? Don’t say that you’re a nice guy — that’s the bare minimum.
“Well, I’m not sexist or racist or greedy or shallow or abusive! Not like those other douchebags!”
I’m sorry, I know that this is hard to hear, but if all you can do is list a bunch of faults you don’t have, then back the fuck away…
Don’t complain about how girls fall for jerks; they fall for those jerks because those jerks have other things they can offer. “But I’m a great listener!” Are you? Because you’re willing to sit quietly in exchange for the chance to be in the proximity of a pretty girl (and spend every second imagining how soft her skin must be)? Well guess what, there’s another guy in her life who also knows how to do that, and he can play the guitar. Saying that you’re a nice guy is like a restaurant whose only selling point is that the food doesn’t make you sick. You’re like a new movie whose title is This Movie Is in English, and its tagline is “The actors are clearly visible”."
decided to erase someone from my phone and then they sent another text several hours later which was ignored and the number/message was once again deleted.
several hours later i decided to reply only to realize i can’t.
i love when i outsmart myself and my propensity for terrible decisions.
Oh Nigel bear, slightly more handsome than the normal type of fella that humps my leg and drools all over me. #lovethosebrits
weddings are for getting drunk and making bad decisions with your ex
but i think next time, ill be sure to get blackout drunk so i don’t have to remember it and be forces to deal with that whole pesky what the fuck were you thinking thing